Gentle Green, a naruto fanfic unlike any other
by JESSEshogun
Summary: A comedy which is centered around Naruto Hinata, Neji Tenten and the Hyuga clan. What is Hinata doing in a tree and why did everything turn out so unique?


Disclaimer; I do not own Naruto (if I did, the anime wouldn't have fillers.)

Chapter 1.

Naruto began to steer as the numerous birds outside his window sang their hearts out. He had long planed to annihilate the high pitched devils but had neither the heart nor the will to get up and utilize the slingshot that he had made especially for them. "...one of these days." came his muffled voice packed with irritation. "One of these days." he repeated while wiping the drowsiness from his eyes. Slowly, he dragged himself out of bed and got ready for his day. He only had one mission planed for the day and

It required a three man cell plus a commanding jounin.

Why do I have to be on the same team as see?

Questioned Naruto while he locked his apartment door. "Ugh, to make things worse sakura is coming! Whenever that ass says something she always ends up hitting us both!" Naruto then remembered the last time that they got together. ''' "Naruto, in this book the comparison of males and females maturity depends on child hood play. My question is; does sakura act like a boy because she played with you a lot or did she grow that complex on her own?" asked sai. "!" Naruto stood frozen as he felt the ominous aura radiating off sakura. "...both...of you...are DEAD!" screamed sakura as both male ninja fled. '''

Naruto rubbed his cheek as he remembered where sakura had caught up with him. Naruto then stepped into the street and turned to the direction of his team meet point. "I guess I shouldn't keep them waiting." 'Even if kakshi-sensai is always lat-!' PLOP! Naruto stiffened as he felt an oozy warm liquid on his cheek. Using his left hand he slowly reached up and examined his cheek. "Shit..." he then looked up and saw one of the birds that tortured him every morning stretching its wings proudly while sitting on a power line. "Bird shit...it would be un-hokage like and inhumane to kill a bird with jutsu. Said Naruto as he put his hand into his pocket.

The fugitive bird was flying at top speed while trying its best to evade all the kunai and shuriken that were launched from Naruto who was in hot pursuit. "TODAY I DRIVE THIS KUNI DOWN YOUR THROAT YOU FEATHERD BASTARD!"

Upon hearing this, the fugitive bird sped up and dove through a familiar hedge fence in an act of desperation. Naruto still blinded by rage jumped the fence and glimpsed the bird entering the foliage of

some near grate oaks. Jumping into the threes himself, Naruto brandished the kunai ready to put the winged devil out of its misery. He stopped when he saw it, but it was on a shoulder? He then looked at the face of the owner of the shoulder. "Hinata?" he exclaimed "wha- na-naruto? Wa-what are you doing here?" stuttered a startled hinata. Naruto saw that she was about to give the tired looking bird a pat

on the head but paused when he called out her name. 'Shit! That must be hinata's bird, I can't kill it now!

I'm just gonna have to come back when she's gone to get my oh so sweet revenge.' taught Naruto. "Na-Naruto? Wh-why are you wielding a kunai?" Hinata asked. 'Shit, she'll suspect me! I gatta think up somethin' quick!'

"Ugh-um well hinata, I am umm..." Naruto then grabbed a small branch and chopped it. "I am uh, doing a mission for the owners of these trees, yeah that's it, I'm trimming their threes!" said a nervous Naruto.

Hinata was stunned; she was caught feeding her blue j by Naruto, of all people. She feared that Naruto would unknowingly reveal her secret retreat. "Umm hinata?" called Naruto as he attempted to get her attention for the third time while receiving no answer. Hinata remained in her dazed state as she brainstormed for a solution to her predicament, the answer came to her in the freaked out stare that she

got from Naruto. 'Naruto' she taught as she remembered his strong will to keep his word. The problem now was how to tell her childhood crush.

Naruto had silently jumped off the three and was slinking back to his home. He could tell that hinata knew that he was lying and did not want her to beat him senseless for it. Why else would she frown and stare at him? She knew and was probably thinking of a way to make him suffer.

Hinata had made up her mind, it was either loose her only sanctuary or shame herself in front of her love. She considered that shame no longer had a place in her vocabulary, with all the past fainting and the occasional walking into solid walls, it was evidently clear that this predicament wouldn't come close embarrassment wise. Hinata taught of it as a two for one combo since she could get to talk to him. She turned to where she

taught he was and began. "n-Naruto...c-c-can you keep a s-secret?" she asked with her eyes closed. She got no reply and dared to opened her eyes. The lavender eyed girl was shocked when she saw that Naruto was half way to the hedge fence. 'Oh no! He might tell someone!' taught hinata as she jumped of the three and ran to catch Naruto. She failed to notice the purple chakra like liquid that was oozing from the three branch that Naruto had cut. The ooze then manifested into a talisman and fell of the three.

Naruto was almost to the fence and was thinking that he was being silly for trying to kill a bird. "I guess everything turned out for the best, I hope hinata doesn't think that I am some cruel bird hunting psychopath." Naruto then paused. "For some strange reason I get the feeling that I'm forgetting something."

Hinata who was now mere meters away from him yelled out. "NARUTO STOP!"

Naruto turned slowly and questioned himself on whether or not he heard what he taught he heard. "Did hinata...just say...Naruto...chop...? He saw her and added it all together. She was running, headed towards him with an odd look on her face, she yelled 'Naruto' and 'chop' in the same sentence and OH GOD! SHE YELLED! HENATA YELLED! "THIS IS BAD" he cowered as his brain fought for a solution. "Stay and plea or flee?" he then remembered the last time he pleaded.

'''"NAAARUTOOO! Did you tell sai that girls like men to take CHARGE OF THEM?" Screamed sakura. "Oh shit! Um w-well, that is to say." sakura raised her fist. "I-I-I uh didn't say that exactly um, please don't hit me!" he begged but it was too late as Sakura's wrath had surfaced.'''

"So flee it is!" he said as he darted fast enough to make his old man proud. His father may have been

Kohona's yellow flash but he's kohona's orange dash!

Hinata struggled to catch up to Naruto as he streaked and bounded over the hedge fence. She assumed that he did not hear her and called out to him yet again. "NARUTO STOP, THERE IS SOMETHING THAT I NEED TO TELL YOU!"

the muffled voice of hinata came to the panicking boy but was again misheard. 'NO, she wants me to stop so she beat the hell out of me!' he taught as he speed up.

Neji was in a situation that would make the most notorious of all missing ninjas go pale in the skin, he was with his old teammate Tenten who was viciously battling to get what she wanted. "But why neji? We could go out together!"

"No, we cannot tenten" said neji who was struggling to keep his composure.

"But why neji? We would look sooo cute together!" said a star-eyed tenten.

"No, we cannot tenten"

"Why neji?"

"Because we cannot"

"Give me a reason! Oh- and saying that there can't be a romantic relationship between teammates wont

cut it this time!" exclaimed tenten who was getting frustrated. "I won't accept that line anymore!"

That comment was the breaking point for neji, it had taken him of guard. 'Shit! I assumed that line would save me from the goody-goody, totally nerve racking, financially decimating, extra-long talking on

my phone and holding her purse while listening never ending hell of a boyfriend life for at least four more years! This is bad, there must be a way!' taught neji as he began to sweat bullets.

"Well?" asked an impatient tenten.

Neji who was at the end of his rope calmly racked his hyuga brain for an excuse. He came up dry and decided to go with plan B which was lie! "Tenten, I can't go out with you because..."

"Because?" said a now angry looking tenten.

"Because the hyuga branch family won't allow it! Yes, all hyugas are to serve the family without fraternizations with others!" said neji coolly.

"What? but that-"

"Have you ever seen a hyuga involved with someone from outside the hyuga family?"

"Isn't that guy what's his name-"

"Impossible! The family forbids it!"

Naruto took that moment to zoom past neji screaming. "AHHHH! SHE'S TRING TO GET ME!" hinata who was hot on his heals yelled after him "WAIT NARUTO!" 'So fast' she taught to herself.

Tenten was shocked to say the least, she had never heard hinata yell nor did she think that the girl was capable of such a direct approach to love. "But then if the hyuga heir can, then that means...neji you li-"

Tenten turned to where neji was only to see that he had made himself scarce post haste. A sly smile crept up onto tenten's face as the taught dawned on her. "Let the hunt BEGIN!" said tenten as she leaped off in search of her prey.

Naruto had managed to lose hinata by hiding behind a bush, she had just stormed by and had not noticed him. 'Whew, that was close.' he thought as he slowly reversed while keeping his eyes fixed on hinata in the distance. This art of hiding was nothing alien to Naruto since his pranking days made the skill compulsory, in addition, his ninja lifestyle required stealth which was gained through rigorous training even with the handicap of an orange attire. 'Will I get out of this alive?' though Naruto as he took a few steps.

Neji skillfully and silently ducked into the protective cover of the thickest bush that he could find. He was no coward, no sir, he was a real man that feared no dark , cold or bug infested places such as the one that he was in. 'I can camp out here for two or three days...' thought neji as he checked his food and water 'until my mission week when I leave allowing things to cool down. Neji was defiantly a 'hard boiled' kind of guy, he was brave and very level headed, but what he heard scared the living chakra out of him. "Hay, is that you neji?" came the whisper from outside his camp. "It's me, Naruto." said Naruto as he too climbed into the bush with neji. Neji sighed in relief as the thought of tenten finding him so soon left him. Naruto, whom was still in evade-mode looked at neji's

unusually fearful expression but said nothing.

"Naruto...we are both being targeted right?"

"...yeah..."

"and we cannot be apprehended right? Because we are two high ranked ninja right!"

"umm..." this was starting to get scary.

"Naruto, they MUST NOT CATCH US." The blond demon container began to fidget on the spot.

"if they do...they will chain us down!" whispered neji in a horror filled tone. Naruto gasped.

Neji pictured himself in a romantic boy and girl relationship while Naruto imagined real chains, they both shuddered. "t-they will also torture us in the most terrible ways available..." neji envisioned himself in a beauty parlor. '"oh neji! I will wash your hair for you! Tehehe."' Naruto pictured hinata paralyzing him with her gentile fist then making him watch as she poured his secret stash of ramen down the kitchen sink drain. "good god no!" said both ninja. The two were brought back from there quaking when they heard a girl's voice, it was tenten's. "I have found you!" she said. Naruto began to prey while neji questioned whether or not the shit had really hit the fan. "Hi there hinata!"

Hinata was cursing her luck as she accepted naruto's escape when she heard tenten. "h-hello tenten-chan, are you looking for neji? Questioned the shy girl. "No, I laid a lot of traps to the west and north so he has to come this way." explained Tenten. Hinata just let the comment slide since it was practically normal to hear such things from her friend. "I was looking for you, little miss 'Naruto stop'." hinata turned red immediately. "w-w-w-w-w-wha? I-i-i-i-i d-dont-"

"don't you lie to me! I saw you chasing him, good job!" hinata wanted to die, she knew that what she did must have looked so indecent, but she was worried that he would tell and had to. "so...did you get him, Naruto I mean?" hinata then understood what tenten was implying and decided to use that to bypass the explanation on why she was chasing him in the first place. "n-no, he got away." half wisped

hinata. That was what tenten was hoping for. " you know hinata, they haven't tripped any of my traps, that means..."

"t-that you are still no good at setting traps?" finished hinata.

"NO! THAT WAS ONLY IN NINJA ACADOMY DANM IT! It means that they are in this area."

the two guys in question who were mere meters opened their eyes in shock. "neji, I don't like the looks of this!" said Naruto. Neji taught the same.

Tenten then asked "so why don't you use your bayakugan and find them?"

both neji and Naruto nearly crapped on the spot.

"shit neji, what do we do?" panicked Naruto. Neji was already in the sprinter get set stance waiting to hear go!

"i am not suppose to use it on these grounds, its against the rules. Stated hinata.

Both neji and Naruto sighed. Thank goodness that she is a rule follower said neji.

"oh please hinata, we would find both of them easy! Hinata inwardly weighed her gains and risks and decided to do it. "o-ok, I'll do it!"

"what the-" said neji as he returned to his escape plan making. Naruto was too busy flipping out to notice the glint that came from neji's cold eyes. 'Yes it's all clear now.' neji taught. 'Use him.'

Naruto was about to make a break for it when he felt two fingers against his neck. "wha- neji? What are you doing?

"self preservation." said neji coldly. "if she has you she won't look for me!"

" n-n-now take it easy neji old pal, m-my sensei once told me that t-those who break the rules are scum but those w-who abandon their comrades are worse!" said Naruto pleadingly.

"that has got to be the most stupidest thing I have ever heard, who so ever said that obliviously was not in this kind of life and death situation!" spat neji. "neji n-no wait!" "sorry Naruto, you're the only one visiting the beauty parlor!" "wh-what? Beauty par-!" neji hit naruto's neck chakra point and gave him a good shove in the direction of the girls, but not before giving one last comment. "you before me!"

hinata was just about to activate her bayakugan when Naruto stumbled over to them.

"Naruto what happened!" yelled a shocked tenten.

"n...ne...neji!" coughed Naruto. Naruto used all his remaining consciousness to summon the will to point out nejis location. Tenten darted forward only to find the bush that Naruto was pointing was now empty.

Neji had used Naruto to make his escape.

Naruto slipped into dreamland seconds after.

…...

Hinabe was taking her morning stroll through the vast open plane that her family called a lawn, it was one of her usual past times that she did to clear her mind. Lately hinabi was bothered by something, but did not know herself what it was. She often assured herself that it was noting, and fought with the only idea that was there, but she knew it was the only one. '...i...am lonely...' pondered the normally serious girl. "father is always busy...neji has a team...and hinata..." the young hyuga noticeably became saddened, the truth of the matter was that hinabi always wanted to be at her sister's side since she secretly wanted to be like real sisters. 'she must dislike me...i always make her uncomfortable...'

at that point in time Naruto ran past her not even acknowledging her existence, hinata shortly came into view

almost grasping at the fleeing blond's back, they soon disappeared into the distance. Hinabi was stunned to say the least, her hinata was playing with Naruto! Did she see that correct? "damn him..." growled hinabi. Here she was lonely while that demon prankster got her full attention. That was unfair!

who is her sister's sister?

She was!

Who wanted to have sister like relations with her?

She did!

Who would she have more fun with?

...obliviously NOT her! "how can I compete? Naruto-san is lively, funny and she seems to enjoy his company, she looks like she would rather eat glass than stay in a room alone with me." ranted the frustrated hyuga. "i am just as entertaining as a sack of nails." she continued. That's when she saw it, a purple talisman. Curious, she picked the talisman up an examined it. She stood still for a few seconds just gazing at the wired thing in her hands. Suddenly there was a flash of purple and the talisman was gone! Hinabi still just stood there. "umm? What was i- oh, yes that's it! I will win hinata over be acting like the one that she is comfortable with! Naruto!" she was interrupted by the sound of her stomach. "i should work on that later, right now I could go for some ramen!" the young hyuga girl then ran off apparently not even thinking of what became of the talisman.

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Naruto felt warm, warm and cozy, he normally felt like this after his naps after training but this was different. This could never be his bedroom pillow because it was too comfortable, letting his inquisitiveness overpower his better judgment he opened his eyes. What he saw when his eyes cleared was none other than piñata's neon red face looking down at him. He then realized that his head was resting on her lap. How the hell did he get there?

Tenten helped hinata to carry Naruto under a nearby tree. "neji did this to stop you hinata." said tenten.

"this means that he is serious so I have to go!" continued tenten as she prepared to go hunting. "don't do anything too funny to sleeping Blondie ok!" said tenten with a wink as she leaped off to find her target. Hinata just gawked like a fish out of water after her friend. She looked at Naruto only to see that he was still out of it, but he appeared to be in pain since his head rested on a rock. Guilty that she had caused Naruto so much trouble she decided to ease his pain. But how? She had nothing soft to let him sleep on, then she remembered the romance movie that she saw the previous night. The girl let her boyfriend sleep on her lap, but she couldn't do that! That was for couples! "ughhhhhhh" moaned a Naruto in pain, the guilt was now suffocating her! She had to! Gently, she raised naruto's head and slid both her knees one at a time under him and just as gently lowered him onto her lap. With her hands still on his head the hyuga heir dipped her head in shame as she fought off her winning blush. She liked the feeling and was unaware that she had began to stroke his soft golden fur like hair. She was lost in her petting when she finally realized what she was doing. 'oh no! What if he wakes up and catches me? He would think that I am taking advantage of him!' taught the now crimson hinata, but she kept stroking finding his hair irresistible. Suddenly Naruto opened his eyes and hinata froze. Startled, hinata stood up causing naruto's skull to hit the rocky ground. "oh no! N-Naruto, are you alright?"

Naruto came to with unfocused eyes. "Huh? What happened?" asked Naruto.

Hinata had just lost her voice and just steered at him, but to her surprise a familiar voice called out to her. It was her father.

"Hinata! What is going on here?" hashi had just came from central leaf and was greeted by the odd site of a boy on the ground. He then saw that it was Naruto. "Naruto? What are you doing here?"

this made hinata fearful because she knew that Naruto might tell her secret and how she almost used her bayakugan on the compound, she then opted to speak in for the bedazzled Naruto. "n-Naruto is here to trim the compound trees father." said hinata trying hard not to stutter. Hashi was shocked at this as he had only just put in a mission request for the job.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, hashi was at the verge of using force to get what he wanted done. The task of trimming the hyuga compound trees was a great one, one that required a massive amount of labor. "so, you won't do it either."

"sorry Mr. hashi-san, we just don't have the manpower to do that job." explained the very nervous landscaper manager.

"I see, thank you for your time." said an emotionless hashi as he left taking along with him the manager's nervousness.

'perhaps I should command the lower branch to do it...' taught hashi but that idea was discarded due to him imagining lower branch members "mistakenly" causing trees to fall on their buildings. 'Where can I find proper landscapes that are not afraid of the purple blood curse.' he then saw some genin picking herbs, hashi knew that it was a risk but he had no other choice. 'With a little super supervision it could work.' he then filed a mission order.

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"Hum, fast, response."

Naruto's senses finally cleared up to reveal hinata's father handing him a scroll. "This job Naruto is a very important one, uzamaki-san" said hashi getting even more serious than usual. He had to use Naruto and could not afford to lose him, he had to make his offer attractive.

Naruto figured that hinata told her father his lie and was now being asked to do it for real, he had to accept or risk being found out. hashi reached into his pocket and handed the mission scroll to Naruto, he opened it and saw that it was a genin ranked and sighed, 'guess it more slave work that only idiots would do.' he then saw the mission reward and closed it in shock. Naruto opened the scroll again and shook his head to try to cast the unbelievable figure that he saw but to no avail. 'What the? Holy gamabunta! Look at all that zeros! If I knew they spent this much I would have became their gardener years ago! This is anbu pay!'

"uzumaki-sa-im I mean Naruto-kun..." said hashi in an almost father type tone that had hinata who was silent watching in a state of shock. "I chose you Naruto-kun, because of your special shadow clone ability and if you finish today ill triple the reward." continued hashi as he skillfully hid his disparity. "Do you accept?"

Naruto was already calculating his reward at triple the original amount, but was insure if there was some mistake. "Um, is this really o.k., I mean this amount for tree trimming?" questioned Naruto while raising the scroll to hashi's face. Hashi knew that Naruto was the only one for the job and had to have him, "ah, you are indeed correct Naruto-kun, there is a small error in this."

Naruto's heart sank as hashi went into his robe for his business pen, it was too good to be true, 'a boat load of cash? Questioned Naruto inwardly, 'for twenty five trees and zero danger? Ha! no way in this life time!' half sighed the now depressed blond, but what he saw next shocked him more than the time when he found out that the wholesale price of instant ramen had dropped. Hashi had added an extra zero to the already large number!

"Now this is the correct figure, do you assert it?" hashi asked.

With a very dry voice and shaking hands Naruto replied "wh-when do I start?"

Hashi whom was feeling very victorious answered "tomorrow as early as possible, but you must only start under my supervision, is that alright with you Naruto-kun?"

"sir yes sir!" exclaimed the very excited fox boy, 'for that kind of pay check I'd happily walk through kohona on my hands, and do laps, naked!' he smiled at the taught 'I could probably get a mansion and live in it naked!' he was brought back to reality what hashi called out to him.

"I am glad that you understand, you can leave now, farewell Naruto-kun, come hinata." said hashi as he began his departure. Hinata followed suit.

With a foxy smile Naruto decided to run straight home to prepare. All three persons left with heavy taught on their minds. 'Hook, line and sinker, I pray that nothing goes wrong.'

Inwardly questioned hashi.

'Please don't tell anyone Naruto-kun.' was hinata taught.

"Hell yeah! No more cheap ramen! Time for the good stuff!" yelled Naruto. He then paused to think, 'what am I forgetting? hum oh well! I could properly buy it now anyways!' taught the now overjoyed ninja as he darted straight home forgetting all about the bird among other things.


End file.
